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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22396015">maybe in the heavens</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/chexx_writes/pseuds/chexx_writes'>chexx_writes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Danplan Oneshots aaaaa [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DanPlan, actuallyoddplan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, actuallyoddplan - Freeform, but like im cool w it, danplan oneshot, fuck my interneT, im just vibing leave me alone, jaysuh angst, okay lets go aaaaaaaaa, the discord server wanted this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:22:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>605</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22396015</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/chexx_writes/pseuds/chexx_writes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Its actually based off of sircantus’s rpg but w less brain cells bc im too lazy to think of another plot or anything so LIKE. SO I GUESS ITS AN AU??? LMAO,, HERE U GO</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hosuh Lee/Jay Ko</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Danplan Oneshots aaaaa [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1611961</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>maybe in the heavens</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=the+laffycult+discord+server">the laffycult discord server</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this quickly derailed into just hosuh being sad but like HERE U GO KJFGEJKHF</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was only a week. So much can happen in a week. You can make friends, go on adventures, almost get killed by royal guards...</p>
<p>You can fall in love.</p>
<p>You can fall in love unintentionally. </p>
<p>You can fall in love with a friend.</p>
<p>You can fall in love with someone you trust.</p>
<p>You can fall in love and never reach the day where you find out if they love you back.</p>
<p>Because now they’re gone. </p>
<p>That’s why I wrote this. I never thought I’d actually go through with it. Sure, I’ve thought about it from time to time, but I never thought I’d actually write this.</p>
<p>I never knew this was going to happen.</p>
<p>I didn’t want this to happen.</p>
<p>No one did. </p>
<p>But the universe has its own plans, doesn’t it? It doesn’t care who loves who, who wants to live and who wants to die.</p>
<p>Having said that…</p>
<p>Dan, Stephen, Ann. You guys were the best thing that’s happened to my life. I know you didn’t expect this from me of all people. I know you’ve always viewed me as the “happy” one. And sure, it used to be true.</p>
<p>Not anymore.</p>
<p>God, I’m already crying. I still can’t believe I’m writing this. But it’s for the better. For all of us.</p>
<p>I know we were all shaken by Jay’s death. But It was my fault. I was the one with him. I was supposed to steer us away from the guards. But they got him. I looked away. I wasn’t paying attention. And when I turned around to ask him what I should buy…</p>
<p>He was gone. </p>
<p>I just barely saw the look of terror on his face as he was being dragged away. I froze. I didn’t do anything. I didn’t even move. I just watched as he was being taken away.</p>
<p>And I cried. </p>
<p>I cried because I never got to tell him I loved him. </p>
<p>I cried because I lost a friend.</p>
<p>I cried because I made you guys suffer too.</p>
<p>I cried because I knew he wasn’t coming back.</p>
<p>And I regret it.</p>
<p>I just didn’t know that he would be killed for it, that he wanted to have FUN for once in his life, that he wanted to have actual FRIENDS. I still held onto that tiny shred of hope.</p>
<p>But that was foolish of me.</p>
<p>There was no warning to his death. </p>
<p>That’s why I’m writing this, so you can at least know why I did it. </p>
<p>Because I loved him so much. </p>
<p>And I never got to say so.</p>
<p>Maybe we’ll meet in the clouds while wandering.</p>
<p>Maybe we’ll cry when we reunite.</p>
<p>Maybe we’ll get to tell each other how much we love each other.</p>
<p>No, not maybe. </p>
<p>We will.</p>
<p>So, Dan, Stephen, Ann… I hope you understand. It’s my fault and I’m being selfish, but I want you to know that I’ll always be here in spirit. I’m sorry I had to leave and I’m sorry you never got to say goodbye. </p>
<p>Just know I’ll be there, even you can’t see me.</p>
<p>Me and jay both.</p>
<p>I love you all.</p>
<p>Stephen, don’t be too hard on Dan. I know he’s sometimes annoying but he’s trying his best. </p>
<p>Dan, don’t put yourself down. You’re doing amazing. Keep your head up.</p>
<p>Ann, you can have my staff. It’s very shiny and I think you’ll like it. </p>
<p>You don’t need to worry about me; I’m finally going to join Jay like I wanted to here on Earth. We’ll be happy up the sky. Don’t worry about us.</p>
<p>So this is it world.</p>
<p>Goodbye.</p>
<p>Love,<br/>
Hosuh</p>
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